Category: slash/ h/c / humor/ crack for the not human challenge over at

Word Count: ~6,700
Rating: T
Characters: John and Rodney
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None that I can think of any consequence.
A/N: I don't write crack. I don't, and yet... sigh. I have no explanation for where this came from. Thanks, as always, to Koschka for the quick beta.
Summary: Three things John and Rodney never were, but could have been.