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[icon] FIC: Floccinaucinihilipilification (SGA Gen) - River's Run My Flow Of Ideas
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Subject:FIC: Floccinaucinihilipilification (SGA Gen)
Time:10:36 pm

I usually store all my fic on either my laptop or my thumbdrive, but I was looking for something on the main computer today (which I rarely get to use) and came across a couple of files I had thought I'd lost.  This little ficlet was one of them.  I wrote it... oh, almost two years ago now... when my company was going through a contract change and a lot of people I'd worked with for years were taking positions in different offices across the country and I was feeling a need to stop the team breaking up, if only in a fic.  It was so short that I only posted on SGAHC and when I found it again today, I figured I'd post it here so I'd at least know where it was. *G*

Title: Floccinaucinihilipilification
Category: Gen, team bonding
Word Count: ~ 1,500
Rating: T
Characters: John and Rodney
Spoilers: None really
A/N: Thanks as always to Koschka for the beta.
Summary:  floc•ci•nau•ci•ni•hil•i•pil•i•fi•ca•tion (flok"su-nô"su-nī"hil-u-pil"u-fi-kā'shun), noun, act or habit of estimating or describing something as worthless, or making something to be worthless by said means.


Floccinaucinihilipilification
by liketheriver
 
floc•ci•nau•ci•ni•hil•i•pil•i•fi•ca•tion (flok"su-nô"su-nī"hil-u-pil"u-fi-kā'shun), noun, act or habit of estimating or describing something as worthless, or making something to be worthless by said means.
 
*****
 
“Floccinaucinihilipilification.”
 
Raised eyebrows and a glance up from the laptop at the word. “Excuse me, Colonel?”
 
“Floccinaucinihilipilification,” repeated patiently as elbows come to rest on the lab bench in a casual slouch.
 
“And if I play you in reverse, will I hear ‘Paul is dead, Paul is dead, bury my body’?”
 
A snort and slight shake of disarrayed hair. “And I thought my trivial knowledge was impressive by knowing the longest non-technical word in the English language.”
 
A shrug as fingers continue to move across the keyboard. “What can I say? There was a guy that lived down the hall from me my freshman year of college. Had a huge collection of Beatles albums…on vinyl, no less, that had belonged to his parents. They raised kids and goats and did volunteer work in third world countries with more kids and goats. He rebelled against their hippy-skippy ways by eating nothing but Lucky Charms and bologna on white bread for the first semester he was away from home. But even processed meat products and refined sugar couldn’t completely remove the flower from the child.”
 
A shoulder in black bumps one in blue. “So was he behind the infamous McKay toking incident?”
 
A smirk. “Green-clover marshmallows the consistency of sun-damaged Styrofoam are pretty damn tasty after sampling some of mom and dad’s homegrown. That is after the panic of moving in slow motion wears off and you realize the end of ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ is supposed to sound like that.”
 
“Rock is dead,” is bemoaned with exaggerated woe.
 
“So I’ve heard. Long live paper and scissors.” Hands flick impatiently. “So aside from showing that I know all the words forward and backward to ‘I am the Walrus’ and you’re familiar with one of rock’s greatest myths…”
 
And that I know the longest non-technical word in the English language.” An index finger is raised in interruption.
 
“And that you know the longest non-technical word in the English language…” Repeated long-sufferingly then a second later a head tilts and blue eyes regard hazel quizzically. “Where’d you learn that anyway? I don’t remember that from the MENSA test.”
 
“You don’t remember much from that test, but, actually, that wasn’t on there. It was on my Useless Word for the Day Calendar. Rather ironic seeing as it means ‘defining something as worthless’.”
 
Fingers resume their movement over the keyboard. “Almost as ironic as you coming in here and sharing that worthless piece of information with me.”
 
“Not nearly as ironic as you applying that term to yourself.”
 
Silence as the tapping of computer keys stops abruptly only to resume with the renewed vigor of denial. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sheppard.”
 
Long legs straighten and arms cross in disbelief. “I ran into Elizabeth. She told me you were looking to reassign another scientist to the team. The thing is, I didn’t request a new scientist seeing as I already have one.”
 
“And you think that’s because I consider myself worthless? You’re at the wrong end of the spectrum, Colonel. There’s just too much to be done here in the city and I’ve wasted way too much time over the past two years going on field trips with you and the others to justify any more absences.”
 
“Wasted, huh? That’s what you think you’ve been doing all along, wasting time?”
 
Another shrug of forced nonchalance. “Seriously, what have we managed to gain from of our trips? Some exotic fruits…half of which I can’t eat because of my allergies, some interesting technology….which we never seem to bring home, and a bunch of strays that keep following us home.” 
 
“Strays?” Eyebrows rise in surprise at the use of the term. “I’ll be sure to let Teyla know that’s what you consider her and the Athosians. And Ronon. And the Trahklins we brought back today, because that’s what this is all about isn’t it?” No answer comes, only intentional silence. “Those are people, Rodney. People that are alive because we helped them.”
 
“Those people would be dead if it had been up to me, Sheppard.” The venom of the words is directed inward, a mirror of what could have been. “If you had listened to me when I first told you we wouldn’t get off the ground…”
 
“You saved them.” The interruption is insistent.
 
“I saved myself. It was either that or relinquish the Jumper to the status of a giant Happy Meal container for the Wraith. And by some miracle, I did save us, even though the Jumpers were never meant to transport that many people.”
 
“But you got us airborne.”
 
“And what if I hadn’t? Who was going to stay behind?” 
 
“It wouldn’t have been you, McKay, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
 
The irritated frown is met with an equally angry one. “That’s not it at all. And, oh, by the way, thanks so much for thinking I’m that much of a selfish prick. Who were we going to push out the back and have the door close in their face if I hadn’t got us off the ground? Save the women and children? Sacrifice the old and sickly? Draw straws? Rock, paper, scissors where rock really is dead? How the hell do you make a decision like that?”
 
“That would’ve been my call, not yours.” The tone is grim, dreading, and relieved all in one.
 
“You just don’t get it. You go out, play the hero, round up the refugees then dump them in my lap and suddenly I’m responsible for saving their lives. And no matter what call you make, someone would have been dead if I hadn’t managed to pull power from the inertial dampeners and divert it to the damaged drive pod, quite a few someones and thanks but no thanks, I’ve had enough of those sorts of fun and games.”
 
“And what would have happened if you hadn’t been there?”
 
“What?” A question that had obviously never been considered.
 
“What would have happened if you hadn’t been there?”
 
“Somebody else would have fixed the Jumper.”
 
“Nobody else could have fixed the Jumper.”
 
The statement is spoken as fact and is met by the shake of a head. “You don’t know that.”
 
“Yeah, I do.” A squeeze to a shoulder. “You can’t leave the team, Rodney. I asked you to join it for a reason. You’re the best scientist we have on the expedition, right?” 
 
A light snort and pleased curve of lips. “Obviously.”
 
“Well, I only work with the best; too much is riding on what we do out there not to. I won’t settle for one of your second rate science minions you decide to dump on my team.”
 
“I’ll be sure to tell Radek you said that about him, seeing as he was my first choice.”
 
“I’ll tell him myself, if it means you’ll stay on the team.”
 
“Really? Can I watch?”
 
“Depends. You staying?”
 
A pause, followed by a sigh. “John, I may be the best but that doesn’t mean I’m not occasionally wrong.” The head bobbles self-consciously. “It’s rare, but it happens.”
 
“Look, McKay, there’s only so much ego stroking I can do before I go into convulsions. Bottom line, I ask, you deliver. You’re the best man for the job and I want you on the team. Yes or no, make up your mind, I can feel the tremors starting.”
 
“You do realize the next time you expect me to pull a miracle out of my ass, I may not have one up there to retrieve.”
 
“We’ll deal with your unmiraculous ass when the time comes.” An amused grin that broadens into a smile at the rolled eyes that greets it.
 
“I have no idea why I bother trying to reason with you.”
 
“Floccinaucinihilipilification.”
 
“You have me there, Colonel.”
 
“So we’re good?” Apprehensive eyes await an answer and get an exhalation of breath.
 
“Good as it gets. Which isn’t exactly saying much, but I’ll be at the briefing tomorrow morning if that’s what you’re getting at.”
 
The eyes lighten with a mix of relief and humor. “Then I better get going, I promised Elizabeth I’d help get the Trahklins settled into the visitor’s quarters as soon as Carson gets them checked out. You want to come and help?”
 
“Showing snot-nosed brats and grumpy old grannies how to operate the toilets on Atlantis?” A turn back to the laptop and resumption of typing. “I think you’re more than familiar with the word for that offer, Sheppard.”
 
“Worth a shot.” Footsteps retreat toward the door then stop in consideration. “Huh.”
 
“What is it?”
 
“I just realized something. There may be a twenty-nine letter word for worthless but there isn’t one for saving twenty-nine people today.”
 
The typing stops and a glance over the shoulder catches a waggle of eyebrows that disappear out the door. The typing resumes…
 
…with a deservedly gloating smile.
 
The End
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piplover
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-12 06:01 am (UTC)
I remember reading this when you posted to SGAHC, but it was wonderful to read it again. Your John and Rodney voices are so spot on it really feels like your stories are just cut scenes from episodes, only with better writing. Thank you for posting this!
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-13 03:50 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! I'd forgotten all about this little ficlet until I saw the title in my files... that is one word that tends to stand out. *G*
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


dovil
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-12 07:17 am (UTC)
That was a really lovely moment captured there, and I agree with piplover that your voices are excellent.
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-13 03:52 am (UTC)
Thank you very much! It actually started out as simply dialog to see if it was possible to capture the voices without any tags to identify the speaker. I decided to add a few motions to the scene but still tried to stay clear of coming right out and identifying the speaker. I'm so glad the voices were clear to you.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


equusentric
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-12 12:39 pm (UTC)
Anything new (it's new to me) from you always makes me do a little happy wiggle-n-grin, and this is no exception. *wiggle* :D

Edited at 2008-05-12 12:39 pm (UTC)
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-13 03:52 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! It had been so long since I wrote it I had to reread it myself to remind me what it was about. *G*
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


dru_evilista
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-12 04:20 pm (UTC)
Aww that was really great. I could totally hear them talking in my head. Why couldn't you be a writer for the show, huh? It would be so much better!
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-13 03:54 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! If only I could be a writer... and have them tackle each other to the ground in a passionate... oh, I mean, have them exchange snazzy dialog. Yeah, that's what I mean. *G*
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


negolith2
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-12 06:27 pm (UTC)
“We’ll deal with your unmiraculous ass when the time comes.”

Now there's a loaded line. :)

As usual - your John/Rodney voices are perfect.
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-13 03:55 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! And I always have to have at least one loaded line. *G*
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


trishkafibble
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-13 04:49 am (UTC)
Ooh, lovely! A nice, bite-sized dose of the patented liketheriver John & Rodney--glad it didn't languish in obscurity! A question, though--where does the spoken emphasis lie in that ridiculous word? I want so bad to use it in conversation! So. Bad. =P
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-13 01:39 pm (UTC)
LOL! I got the word the same place John did, so I have never heard it spoken aloud. I think it falls on all the u sounds, though. So glad you enjoyed the fic and good luck with working that into a conversation. Thanks!
(Reply) (Expand) (Parent) (Thread)


margec01
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-13 04:49 pm (UTC)
But, but.... What happened to antidisestablishmentarianism? Before you count--28 letters. That was the longest word in the English language when I was growing up back in the Jurassic period. Just goes to show that things always change. (g)

One of my favorite things about your J&R fics is that you have the snark down pat--and yet their snarky conversations often have the deeper meanings of, I trust you, you are needed, I care about your opinion, or I love you. I'm so glad you found this little gem again and shared it with us.

I laughed out loud when John said, “Look, McKay, there’s only so much ego stroking I can do before I go into convulsions." Just when it's getting a little too deep, and could get OOC, we're brought back to the John we know. LOL

And this line, “I just realized something. There may be a twenty-nine letter word for worthless but there isn’t one for saving twenty-nine people today", once again meshes the fun plot with the serious plot. Simply priceless!
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trishkafibble
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-13 04:56 pm (UTC)
Oh, ooh, I second every word of Marge's comment! She's hit the nail on the head, exactly. And I, too, remember disestablishmentarianism! Much easier to pronounce.... =P
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pansychubb
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-14 01:10 am (UTC)
Oh, how sweet! Nicely done!

:-)
-Pansy Chubb (aka LilRicki)
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-14 12:53 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


leesa_perrie
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-15 09:36 pm (UTC)
*note to self, really must get a John and Rodney icon*

A great ficlet - I love your John and Rodney voices.

“Look, McKay, there’s only so much ego stroking I can do before I go into convulsions...

Snerk!! That's a pure Sheppard line if ever I've heard one!

Excellent read - going into my re-read pile for certain!
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-16 01:46 am (UTC)
You don't have a John and Rodney icon???? That's almost all I have. *G* And thank you so very much for the lovely feedback!
(Reply) (Expand) (Parent) (Thread)


wildcat88
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-15 10:01 pm (UTC)
LOVED this. Such great snark and so creative. I adored that what you show is body movement - hands fluttering, smiles, shoulders bumping. And John's way of bringing up a serious conversation with such a ridiculous word! Perfect!
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-16 01:50 am (UTC)
Thank you so very much! It actually started out as all dialog but I added the motions to give it a little more flavor without having John said and Rodney said tags... I thought it was pretty obvious who was speaking. *G* So I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


mellyna
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-15 10:52 pm (UTC)
Wonderful piece. Love the interaction between the guys. You write them so well. Thanks for sharing.
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-16 01:51 am (UTC)
Thanks you so very much! I actually enjoy writing this little moments between them. *G*
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


aelfgyfu_mead
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-16 12:09 am (UTC)
Very nice. Rodney's my favorite because he's so very bad at being a hero, even when he comes through time after time.
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-16 01:55 am (UTC)
I actually think that fact is what makes him a hero, because he steps up every single time he gets this crap dumped in his lap and even when he's terrified. Thanks so very much!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


kriadydragon
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-16 05:31 am (UTC)
Heh. Oh boys, don't ever change. That was sweet.
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-16 04:42 pm (UTC)
Well, I certainly hope they never change. *G* Thanks so much!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)


ayumidah
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-18 02:00 am (UTC)
hee when I saw this fic, I bookmarked it to read it later and pasted the word to my bff who I was talking to at the time, and we both went WTH at the word, lol. Now that I've read it, I can say it's a beautiful fic and *smishes Rodney* ... now to go off and laugh at the floccinaucinihilipilification (HOLY FRICK IT'S A MONSTER JUST TO TYPE! That makes Massachusetts look easy) pronunciation on Dictionary.com
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-05-19 02:45 am (UTC)
It really is a mouthful and a half, isn't it. *G* I'm so glad you enjoyed. Thanks so much!
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greyias
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-06-18 02:12 pm (UTC)
Aww, I just love your stuff, short or long. I had somehow missed this on its original posting on the Yahoo Group, but I'm glad I read it here. Love our boys, and John trying to talk Rodney into staying, using long geeky words and appealing to the ego to do it.

“We’ll deal with your unmiraculous ass when the time comes.” - Best. Line. EVAH.
(Reply) (Thread)


liketheriverrun
Link:(Link)
Time:2008-06-22 03:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you so very much! It's always fun when you run across something you'd forgotten you'd written. *G* So I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[icon] FIC: Floccinaucinihilipilification (SGA Gen) - River's Run My Flow Of Ideas
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