liketheriverrun (liketheriverrun) wrote,

Pardon me while I rant about SGA het romance...

Okay, the good news is I hope to finish the massive AU western epic tomorrow on my flight back to visit Koschka for the weekend. That means she can beta it and hopefully I will have it posted on Friday or Saturday.  It's going to clock in around 30,000 words and it gave me fits towards the end, so I'll be glad to have this one finished up.  So, yay for massive fic and fun girls weekend!

Now, the bad news based on some photos I saw from Enemy at the Gate.  Not only is this the final episode (moan, wail, sob) but it confirms crap I've known was coming and was dreading like the plague...

Okay, based on interviews and photos from the second half of the season, including one very blatant one from the finale with Rodney with his arm around Jennifer as they stare off happily across the Atlantean ocean, it seems we can’t avoid the fact that they are going to cram this stupid Keller/Rodney romance down our throats.


First off, let me start by saying this is not an anti-Keller rant.  Yes, they are evil bastards for killing off Carson for no good reason and I will hate them forever for doing that, but my main problem with Keller has nothing to do with Carson’s demise.  Its roots lie in the same place as my problem with the Keller/Rodney romance, same as with the Keller/Ronon romance idea… crappy inconsistent writing. I actually enjoyed Keller in Trio and Tracker.  If she had been like that from day one, I might not mind her that much.  But she drove me nuts in Missing, Quarantine, and The Shrine. I mean, they have Ronon tell her about losing the love of his life and watching his entire society destroyed and then they have her whine about missing her high school dances and we’re supposed to not only sympathize for her but buy Ronon would be attracted to her???  And she acted like a sullen child in The Shrine, not a doctor intent on saving her patient.  And if I was Teyla I would have kicked her whiny ass back on New Athos.


But I digress…


The main point I’m trying to make has to do with romance and how the writers just can’t write it… at least intentionally.  Because, let’s face it, they’ve written an amazing love story over the past five years and they never meant for it to happen.  Oh, I’ll admit, I fell into the same trap.  I never had the slightest bit of interest in slash before SGA and I still to this day don’t see it in any other fandom.  But the chemistry between John and Rodney is amazing and in episodes like Doppelganger, The Shrine, The Last Man, Toa of Rodney, and Miller’s Crossing, to name a few, it is absolutely electric.


But I digress again…


So, anyway, here’s my argument as to why the writers don’t know how to write a het romance to save their lives.  And keep in mind this only applies to SGA… there are just as many in SG1.


1)      Katie Brown’s absence:  If you want me to believe Rodney is ready to propose to a woman *and* that they’ve been dating for over a year, we should have seen her or at least heard her name mentioned sometime in that past year.  Sure, she was there in Tabula Rasa, but where was she when Rodney was about to die in Toa of Rodney?  If I was Rodney and on my deathbed, I might look up and say, “Hey, by the way, where’s my girlfriend?”


2)      Katie and Rodney acting like each other had cooties:  The awkwardness was actually kind of cute in the first date ep, but if you’ve been dating someone for over and year and are going to propose, you should be over that awkward phase and you shouldn’t act like you’re afraid to touch her.   I’m supposed to buy that they’ve had sex when they act like they’ve never even kissed?  Uh, no.


3)      The whole John/Teyla or John/Elizabeth UST:  Early on there was a whole lot of John risking his life to save Teyla… or Elizabeth.  And then there was Season 2 where John kissed every woman he came in contact with… Teyla, Elizabeth, the Epiphany chick, the Tower chick.  And yet, time and time again, John looked horrifically uncomfortable when Teyla or Elizabeth hugged him.  I think they finally gave up on the John/Liz thing after Season 1 and tried for the John/Teyla angle instead.  But they always push it at weird times.  I think the strangest for me was with John trapped in Search and Rescue and dreaming about a romantic dinner with Teyla.  She was about to give birth to another man’s child and he’s dreaming of a candle lit dinner with her?  Was I the only one who thought that was a little odd???


4)      John as Kirk:  Okay, there’s a part of me that enjoys John as Kirk but then they throw total crap at us like Sanctuary and Travelers and I want to go whack the writers upside the head.  Chaya and Laryn made John look like an idiot and I don’t like when John looks like an idiot because he’s really not one.  A little slow on the uptake sometimes and over simplistic with his planning on occasion, but he’s not an idiot.   I mean, Laryn beat the crap out of him and five minutes later he’s kissing her… with a Wraith right around the corner… and she stole his gun while he was doing it.  In my book, if you do something as stupid that, you deserve to be beat and have your gun stolen.


5)      If Rodney was in love with Jennifer, why did he glom onto John in The Shrine?  He asked for John, he sought out John when he was scared, his face lit up when John came in the room.  He looked like he didn’t even know who Keller was when she was talking to him.  But we’re supposed to buy he’s in love with Keller? Even if you don’t see the overt slashiness of that episode, I’m not sure how we’re supposed to believe Rodney is in love with Jennifer based on that and the one beer they had the season before.


6)      Why aren’t Keller and Rodney together *now*?  I mean, Rodney confessed his love for her, she has it on a tape she’s watched over and over, and she just told Ronon she’s interested in someone else which we can only assume is Rodney.  He’s interested… she’s interested…. she *knows* he’s interested…What the fuck are they waiting for?  It’s a sure thing, Jennifer!  Ask him out, jump his bones, live happily ever after for God’s sake!  But noooooooo we have to tap dance around it for the sake of nonexistent UST and tension between Ronon and Rodney.  Why?  Why?????


I actually didn’t have a problem with Rodney and Jennifer becoming a couple in The Last Man.  Given all they went through and being the survivors when everyone else had died, I could see it happening.  I just haven’t seen anything this season to convince me that they should be a couple now that they won’t go through that experience except what the writers have *told* me.  How about a little showing instead?


On second thought, how about just dropping the whole thing and admit that you can’t write it, which is fine since I, for one, don’t want it.

Tags: stargate atlantis

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